I had a gig-coworker give me a piece of useful advice recently: You don't always have to respond to every message.
She happily noticed that I always promptly responded to her when she reached out for help. I'm proud that I always help anyone who asks me for it. Then she told me something unexpected, that nobody has ever told me before. I have a habit of responding to every message, almost as if I have to have the last word. Of course she knows I'm not that way, but she said I act like a teacher or a big brother, even when I don't have to.
I acknowledged what she said, she responded, and I ... did not respond. Until the next time she needed to tell me something or ask for something.
Then I realized I really did have some need to respond to every question and statement with a question or statement, even when it's really not needed or even useful.
I realized this tendency of mine probably enabled or at least encouraged bad or literally disqualified customers to constantly reach out for help, even when they didn't want to buy anything and would possibly even argue later about paying for the consultation. So, since she pointed this out, I've been watching my communications with non-regular customers.
Sure enough, I had a customer contact me recently, like he does a couple of times a year, to ask a whole laundry list of questions and give a bunch of information about something going on with him and his business. I remembered that I had disqualified him and his "business" because we literally had no real business with him since nearly eight years ago. Even then, that one time was equivalent to 10% of the monthly business with a regular customer. Eight years ago. And I knew from all the contacts I had from him over the years that this was going to lead nowhere, for many reasons.
So, I answered his response to my email, which I sent after hours because we had more important paying customers waiting for work to be done, with a generally informational email that ended with a recommendation that he essentially go buy a Microsoft Azure subscription instead of buying a server host or a VM setup that might (or might not) give us a paltry bit of business. Essentially, don't waste my time or yours, go get free advice from Microsoft.
And he responded with more questions and comments. And I deleted his email before going back to the paying customers.
It felt good. And I knew the end result would be the same either way. Except possibly that he, maybe, wouldn't reach out to me with a dozen more questions later this year.
And today I get a text from someone at another disqualified customer who had so conveniently "dumped themselves" last year, relieving me of the need to create a reason to stop doing business with them. Somehow I was texted a Google code they needed because I was still on some old Google admin account. She asked for that and some number of other questions. I politely gave her the code and ignored the rest of what she said, because I was working on an urgent problem for a customer that I had to get done in less than an hour. Then that customer had another problem come up I had to immediately address.
Meanwhile, this woman at the disqualified customer kept texting me one thing after another. All of which I ignored while I finished addressing the problems successfully for the qualified, paying customer in time. I did, and ended up going home with a good sense of accomplishment for the day.
After I got home, after-hours on a Friday, before my weekend, I remembered that I had forgotten to look at her messages. I deleted the entire text conversation without looking. It felt good.
Again, I consciously made a calculated decision that one person/company did not require a response, mainly because my response would not actually lead to anything good, anyway, for me or them. And in the process, I redirected my efforts toward the customer who treats us right and pays us well every month.
Hmm, I guess a customer can become unworthy of even a response. And the reality is that our more valued customers, who actually value our work, are happier when I choose to engage with them. And, I'm less stressed.
No conversation or even person is obligated any response if the end result is pretty much guaranteed to produce nothing of value.
Sure, you could say that's bad because it's transactional and there should be a relationship involved with a customer or client. But, this is business and the bills don't get paid by people or companies who have no intention of doing business with you. Business has to come first or you won't be in business for long.